No Protractors/Brannock Devices in Hockey

The question came in real time via Twitter from my former colleague Jeff Hale, who was taking in the Los Angeles Kings/Calgary Flames game on Wednesday night.

"What you think of Phaneuf hit? 2 guys going for puck, Kopitar out of his weight class, gets turned around and crunched."

Watching live in the Bunker, I had a hard time seeing this as anything more than a play worthy of a minor for interference. The Flames' Dion Phaneuf plays the Kings' Anze Kopitar right into the boards, leaving the puck to skitter behind the net for a teammate to clean up.

Context needed here. Phaneuf, who is a hitter, has been known to finish high and he has been known to leave his skates. Neither appears to be the case here.

More context: Kopitar is a rising star, or was one before his teammate Ryan Smyth went on the injured list, deflating Kopitar's standing in the overall scoring race. He is a guy the National Hockey League intends to protect. Perhaps that is the case here; Phaneuf's punishment is a major for boarding and a game misconduct.

Good night, Mr. Phaneuf.

Now we add a little perspective. I watch the hit repeatedly, far removed from the moment it occurred, and can see where I say yes, you say no, I say why and you say I don't know. Whoa no.

The NHL has been shaken in the last decade or two, its foundation picked apart by well meaning and safety-minded inspectors with protractors and Brannock Devices to determine what is legal. If it is a crime, what is the punishment? How strong? How weak?

How tiring.

I cannot say I know the solution to the problem of dangerous hits along the boards, although Kopitar should have taken some steps to defend/prepare himself for the hit in the corner. (A police officer told me after my car was hit broadside by a van that ran a stop sign: "You had the right-of-way, but you had to have seen that van not slowing down. Next time, do yourself a favor. Be more defensive.")

In other words, I can break out the protractor and measure my the angle of the van's path into my vehicle, and I can cite the laws of the road, but could I have saved myself some time upside down in my car along the side of the road by doing some simple math? Hey, that guy is speeding; I'm not. I can stop; he might not. I was in the right, the police and witnesses said, but what is that worth when only the dome light is keeping an average -- read short -- man from having his head touch the roof of the car, which has its wheels in the air?

Now regarding Phaneuf. Was he dealt with because of his history of aggressive play and did his actions merit the size of the penalty? This is where the Brannock Device comes into play, as I told Jeff in a Tweet.

"calling penalties now is like using that old metal foot sizer at the shoe store. How do U use it, what does it say, what's it mean?"

Does the penalty fit the crime, or in this case, does the shoe fit? A master at a shoe store might be able to come up with any number of precise rulings with the device, which cannot be found at any of the shoe grab piles (5 shoes for $4) where I pick up my fine footwear.

Where are those masters today? They are not in stripes on the ice, where they have little time to break out the Brannock while picking up the pieces after the collision, separating agitated parties and anticipating any number of suggestions from fans as to precisely where they can place those whistles and/or rulings on the play.

Other than telling everyone to defend themselves, which I know is the old school approach, there really isn't much more that can be improved through more rules, longer suspensions and even more protective gear.

You can hurt everyone BUT yourself in the latest equipment. You have rules that seem to run counter to other rules. And you have suspensions for some and nothing for others. None of that quite measures up if you are using Brannock, common sense or advanced reasoning.

I am reversing myself here. In late 2007, I asked whether Colton Orr could take a few nanoseconds to consider a perhaps safer bodycheck in open ice. My argument was that these guys know precisely what a shift of their skate, twist of the stick, will do for them when they deliver a check or shoot the puck.

But by making this suggestion, I became the object of my own fears, a protractor-waving, Brannock-Device pushing shirt and tie. Great suggestion in theory. Tougher to employ in practice.

So Mr. Greg Wyshynski, the Puck Daddy, I stand corrected, ready to head to the box to feel shame. My foot is now defensively placed in the Brannock. Please be kind.

Happy New Year, everybody. Take care. (Especially you, Anze.)

THE SCOREBOARD
NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE
At Boston 4, Atlanta 0
At New Jersey 2, Pittsburgh 0
Philadelphia 6, at N.Y. Rangers 0
Montreal 2, at Tampa Bay 1 OT
Colorado 4, at Ottawa 3
At Calgary 2, Los Angeles 1
At Edmonton 3, Toronto 1
At San Jose 5, Washington 2
The standings are here.
The night's recap, the best around, by Sportsnet.
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AMERICAN HOCKEY LEAGUE
Adirondack 4, at Albany 2
At Hartford 5, Springfield 3
At Toronto 3, Peoria 2
At Wilkes-Barre/Scranton 6, Binghamton 3
At Hamilton 4, Rochester 1
At Chicago 5, Houston 1
At San Antonio 3, Syracuse 2
The standings are here.
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EAST COAST HOCKEY LEAGUE
Johnstown 2, at Trenton 1
Wheeling 3, at Reading 2
Victoria 5, at Utah 4
At Alaska 3, Ontario 2 SO
The standings are here.

QUEBEC MAJOR JUNIOR HOCKEY LEAGUE
Acadie-Bathurst 5, at Prince Edward Island 2
Cape Breton 4, at Halifax 2
Drummondville 5, at Victoriaville 4
At Lewiston 6, Gatineau 4
Rimouski 4, at Quebec 3 OT
Chicoutimi 4, at Baie-Comeau 3
At Montreal 2, Shawinigan 1
The standings are here.
The roundup is here.

ONTARIO HOCKEY LEAGUE
At Kingston 5, Oshawa 3
At Mississauga 3, Brampton 2 OT
At Owen Sound 3, Niagara 1
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WESTERN HOCKEY LEAGUE
Moose Jaw 2, at Prince Albert 1
At Lethbridge 3, Medicine Hat 2 OT
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Prince George 4, at Vancouver 1
Saskatoon 4, at Seattle 3
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UNITED STATES HOCKEY LEAGUE
No games scheduled.
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WORLD JUNIOR CHAMPIONSHIP
Group A (at Saskatoon)
Switzerland 7, Latvia 5
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Group B (at Regina)
Finland 10, Austria 1
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