Expand the Playoff Field? Yeah, Right.

I have been against most arguments that would expand the Stanley Cup playoff field beyond 16. It's a money grab, really, and just whose pockets are being tapped? How about yours and mine.

And really, when all the pretty portraits are painted by those wishing to sell a mini round featuring the eight, ninth and perhaps 10th place teams all getting together for a weeklong battle just for the right to be in the final 16, don't you get the feeling that someone has made you for a sucker who likes pretty pictures, albeit dogs playing poker?

Forget it. And for that matter, the teams currently struggling to stay in the playoff picture are making me wish the playoff format was reduced to four teams. Yesterday afternoon, I wondered if the Los Angeles Kings would show up for their game with the Minnesota Wild.

No. And that is just the latest example of mediocre teams being lucky enough to have even worse teams below them in the standings. The Kings look terrible. I would have liked for them to get into the playoffs. But if they are going to play like that, forget it.

For that matter, the Blackhawks have been uninspiring. Ditto the Sharks. If I had to pick three teams from the Western Conference who deserve to play well into Spring, I would pick the Phoenix Coyotes, the Detroit Red Wings and the Nashville Predators.

The rest have pretty much been floating along, and I am being generous, since the Olympic break.

In the Eastern Conference, I would say the Washington Capitals, Pittsburgh Penguins and Ottawa Senators. I know Buffalo leads its division, but the Sabres cannot, will not, refuse to beat the Senators. Given that it's my perfect world, my word is final. Buffalo gets into the playoffs only when it decides to beat Ottawa. Until then, Ottawa, the invitation is yours. So it is written, so it is done.

Having watched the rest of the National Hockey League's teams more often than the rest of you would ever want to, I can tell you the rest are dogs with an assortment of fleas.

For the record, I only go to one dog show, and it's the Westminster event at Madison Square Garden. No fleas there. (You should see the behind-the-scenes grooming stations that these dogs go through. Perhaps they could put the Rangers through one of those stations.)

I'll watch every game of the Stanley Cup playoffs, as I have done each year since the end of the lockout. In return, allow me to say that 16 is the limit for playoff teams. No more.

And if you really want to make me happy, come back when you have cut the field to either eight or six.